Everyone is freely to make choices for their lives, but the final decision is in the hands of God.
I believe that everybody in this world has a lot of dreams in their head for themselves. From the biggest dream until the silliest dream. And in this story, I’d like to tell mine.
since in the kindergarten, I have a dream to be a doctor. almost all of children who I asked about their dream, they will answer “I wanna be a doctor”. I don’t know why this is happened, and happened to me either, but one thing in my head when I answer “I wanna be a doctor” is because doctor can make a lot of money. :D as simple as that.
this dream is last until I was in the second year of senior high school. when everybody asked me what is my dream, I will answer confidently “I WANNA BE A DOCTOR, INTERNIST”. Then one day, all of my dream change at a glance. I wanna be an engineer.
once again, I WANNA BE AN ENGINEER.
Actually I don’t know exactly why I changed my dream to be an engineer. I think I was inspired by the two of presidents in my country which were engineers.
Ir. Sekarno, Indonesia’s first President.
BJ. Habibie, Indonesia’s third President.
They were really good as an engineer and as a leader of Indonesia. That’s why I was inspired too, to enter their previous technology institution (fyi: they were graduated from same technology institution).
then I made the biggest decision of my life, I choice to be an engineer for my future. Their institution is the best technology institution in my country, a lot of senior high school students wanted to entered and studied there. the competition to get it is so tight. and I realized, if i wanted to achieve it I had to studied harder than usual.
I sticked a motivation paper, which was contain that institution name, to burn my spirit while studying in my room. all of attention diverted there. I prepared all the materials for entrance examination. day to night I studied hard. until the exam day was coming.
I took all the most expensive way to entrance that institution. the first one was held in my city, so I don’t have to do much effort to do this. I was so nervous when the first exam day, because I met a lot of people from different schools which were looked so brilliant and so confident to do the exam. I was always thinking about the result, I really really REALLY want to entrance this institution. I did my test with all of my best I can do.
day by day had past, the announcement day was coming. I was too curious about the result, but I was too nervous and worried. Actually I was not ready to see the result. But ready or not I had to collect all of my courage to face it.
jeng jeng jeng jeeeeeng~~~ (backsound)
I was not selected to entrance the institution from this exam. I felt like this was the end of my world. I felt so depress, because it was not like usual, used to when I want to enter the certain school, I will get it easily.
Then my family, especially my mother always give me spirit, and tell me that there were still a lot of way to reach that. I built again my confidence to face the world and continue my study.
I become crazier to study, because all that I wanted at that time was enter this institution.
In a short, the second exam was coming, and it held in other city, rather far from my city, so i should stay for a night in that city. a lot of effort to gain this.
the situation was not different with the previous exam, and more a lot people from different cities came to take this test. they were looked more brilliant and confident rather than people in the previous exam. it made me more nervous than before.
day by day passed away, the announcement day was coming through my day. ready or not i had to face it bravely. i already prepared my mental to received all the result. i felt more confident that time. bravely, I enter the url to see the announcement, then typed my exam number. then the announcement was appeared
SORRY, YOU DID NOT PASS THE SELECTION.
I felt broken in and outside. all of my confident was lost all of sudden. i thought that this is the end of my life, i don’t want to meet other people around my neighborhood, i didn’t want to meet my friend either. all of i did just stayed alone in my room, then crying all night long. I thought “am i this stupid, so i didn’t pass the exam for twice? what have i done, so i got this?” all i do just blame my self and think negatively to the God’s plan for me.
that was the hardest part of my life, to face the truth. in the middle of my misery, i got news from my math teacher, that i pass the selection to accounting major in one of university in my city. that was really shocked me and my parents. I didn’t believe it, my major in senior high school was science and i didn’t study about social lesson in my class, but then i passed the selection of accounting major which was based on social lesson.
THE MIRACLE WAS HAPPENED FOR ME!!
this news gave me a little confident to face the world. and can make me laugh again. but i still couldn’t forget what is my dream,what was my choice for my future, i couldn’t move on.
since my confidence was increased i was bravely to take the last chance to be an engineer. in this chance i asked my parents, what was better for me? but i insist to be an engineer. my parents couldn’t do anything to stop me, they just give me advice to take another technology institution besides the one i want. then i follow their advice. i didn’t expect too much to this last exam, if i could pass it, it was good, and if i didn’t it was not a big problem for me.
when i took the exam, feel so sleepy and dozed for a while, then i realized i was in the middle of exam, then i woke up and do the rest with the best i could do. i felt nothing to lose for this exam.
for a month, the announcement was announced on the web. fyi, this last exam, there were more people did it, because it was the cheapest way to entrance the university or institution, so everybody will take this exam, and the probability to pass this exam was less than another test. back to the announcement day, i feel so nervous about the result, then my body was trembled. i was not ready to see my result, then i typed the number of people in front of my desk when the exam day. i was rather shocked about the result, that that person was failed. “so this is the form if i fail this exam too, well at least i already know how the failed form is” i thought. but i couldn’t lie that i was more more more MORE nervous after seeing that.
after that, i was bravely to type my exam number. Then it comes a different form of announcement from the previous person that i just saw.
CONGRATULATIONS!!
YOU PASSED THIS SELECTION
INSTITUT TEKNOLOGI SUPULUH NOPEMBER -
MARINE ENGINEERING
i was crying immediately after seeing the result, i didn’t believe it for a while. my body was really trembled. i ran to hugs my mom. then i said
“FINALLY I CAN MAKE IT HAPPENED MOM, I CAN BE AN ENGINEER”.
for 4 years i studied there, i met a lot of nice friends, i got a lot of lesson, which is the most important lesson is life lesson. now i had been graduated from there well.
when i studied in ITS
and beyond of my mind, now i can continue my study in JAPAN!! what a surprise of life. what a beautiful plan from God.
when i went to Dotonburi, Osaka
my classmates
this day, when i throw back through that time, i feel so thankful and bless full of all God’S choice to my life. although i couldn’t get what i want, but God gave me something much better than i thought.
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